The Snake and Chicken Half Marathon

Never a dull moment for me, I go from can to can’t… Some days I do that before 1pm. Today is one of them … I found my eggs all scattered and knew something was wrong. Next thing I knew I was eye to eye with a six foot snake big around as the end of a Louisville Slugger. No joke, big enough to eat baby chicks.

I did three back handsprings and a double tuck back twist out of there. I stuck my landing and sprinted to my shovel and phone which was about 100 yards away. I called my sweet husband, Chris, and ran back to the chicken tractor. If you don’t know what that is you can probably stop reading now because the rest may not matter to you.

As I waited for Chris, planning on pinning the snake until he got there, I couldn’t locate it. I knew it’s last known location but that appeared to be vacated. Upon Chris’s nonchalant arrival I was telling him where it was. He assured me it was gone but I knew better, I had run like the wind to gather my snake killing tools, it hadn’t had time to get out of site.

Once again Chris was ready to throw in the towel, I gave him that crazy look like you better get involved or I will start ripping this tractor apart piece by piece. He wouldn’t budge though, I had to go in. There was no way I would leave the property knowing my baby chicks were next on this snakes menu. I went into the small bowels of the chicken tractor, using my best CSI skill, sure enough in a recess just big enough to hide, there that serpent laid.

Successfully again I pulled of my three back handsprings and a double back tuck, in this amount of time Chris had engaged. He yelled, “It’s coming your way.” And I ran the opposite way which happened to be the same about face the snake took. After a very involved tango and mamba, the snake was chased in Chris’s direction where it was promptly dispatched.

I swear the man did not make more than three steps, while I had performed a whole half marathon. To add insult to injury I inadvertently grabbed the electric fence on the way out of the animal pens. Nothing like 2,000 volts rushing through a small wire and burning a line in a generally well manicured hand.

I sit here typing my recount of the last 30 minutes in our house where the AC is currently on the fritz. I’m thankful for my health and the fact that I didn’t fall and break my hip or that my heart didn’t stop, I’m thankful for my sweet husband who puts up with all my looney tunes, and I am thankful for my friend who is afraid of snakes. I couldn’t wait to text her and see her reaction… It somehow made it all worthwhile. Lol

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